"Mrs. Norfar! Mrs. Norfar!", yells Melissa as she waves her hand in the air to get my attention. I am across the room working with a group of students. I look up to see what she needs. Before I can say anything. Melissa says, "I can't work with him. I don't like him." As soon as she finishes, Mark says, "Yes, she doesn't like me."
Have you ever had this situation occur or something similar? This is a real situation that occurred in my class years ago. It is the kind of situation that makes teachers reluctant to have students work in teams. Teachers ask me all the time can they do PBL but have the students work by themselves. Dealing with team conflicts are challenging so why not avoid them. However, you won't enable students to develop collaboration and communication skills if they don't work together. The answer is not avoidance but a plan for dealing with conflicts.
These structures help reduce the chance of conflict greatly. However, even with the greatest structures, conflicts still arise between students. You need to use the structures to resolve conflicts. Remember my opening story. Let's look a process for resolving conflicts through the lens of the opening story. Structures
There are three structures that are used to reduce and mediate conflicts: Contracts, Management Log and Collaboration Process or Protocol. Let's go through each structure.Contract
Contracts (also called team agreements or team norms) is a written document that details how teams will work together. It is created before they work on a product. See the example of a contract below. It is common in elementary to have a class contract especially at the PreK to 2nd grade level. This video explains how to create and use them.
Management Tool
This is a written document that states the work to be done, who is doing the work and when it is complete. BIE has an elementary and secondary version. At the Pre-K to 2nd grade level or when students are new to working in teams, you can use this tool for a portion of the project. Below is an image from a video of Jenna Gampel's class at the Conservatory Lab Charter School. She is a 2nd grade teacher who used a project management board to manage the critique process.
Protocols
A protocol is a process or a structure used by a group of people to accomplish a goal. People use roles as a way to help accomplish a goal. Dr. Spencer Kagan is popular for his collaborative structures. I recommend starting with Kagan or the book Productive Group Work by Frey, Fisher and Everlove. Another example of a structure is Scrum. You can check out how AP Physics teacher Johnny Devine video on how he uses it with his students during project work time.Mediating Conflicts
1. If tensions are high, defuse the situation using location and/or redirection.
Sometimes you find out the conflict is happening when emotions are high. Try to stay calm and move students physically away from each other or redirect. Redirection is most common for high school students. Elementary and middle students often need a location change rather than redirection. Redirection can be as simple as saying "Let's take a few deep breaths for a moment." Although I never do it intentionally, students have shared I can often diffuse a situation with humor. If students have said this about you, then it is a great way to redirect. Do not try to use humor intentionally. It typically does not work out.
Melissa and Mark did not have tension that was high therefore I went immediately to step 2.
Melissa and Mark did not have tension that was high therefore I went immediately to step 2.
2. If applicable, offer a quick resolution to try for a few minutes.
There are times you are tied up with a group and can't quickly go over to start the mediation process. However, the group needs some type of temporary resolution. It is in these times, you may offer a resolution to try for just a few minutes until you can get to the group. Some quick resolutions include:
- Take three or four deep breaths.
- Work on a separate task individually.
- Write or draw your side of the story.
- For elementary students, change a person to a different station.
- Send one of the students to the water fountain.
Melissa and Mark needed a quick resolution. In front of the entire class, I said to Melissa and Mark, "Thank you for telling me. Liking someone is not a requirement for the task. Do me a favor? Grab a color pencil from the bin. Melissa you do the first problem and slide the paper to Mark. Mark you put your initials if she did it correctly or circle where she made a mistake. Mark, you will then do the next problem. Don't talk to each other. I am going to wrap up with this group and then be right over." They did the resolution I gave and I quickly wrapped up with the group.
3. Check to see how they want to do the mediation.
It is important before you start the mediation process that you give students the opportunity to choose the environment/time. There are times when students don't want the discussion to be heard by other classmates so they would like to talk in a hallway. They may want to discuss it at a later time. It is common in PK-2 for you to choose the environment and the time. Many choose to mediate as an entire class and immediately with students. When you sit with the group, it is important to start with these questions:
- Do you want to resolve this in class or in the hallway/another classroom? (Note if they choose another classroom make sure the door remains open or another teacher is in the room).
- Do you want to resolve this now or at a later time?
Melissa and Mark were almost done with the problems when I got to their desks. I thanked them for letting me know their challenge and for being able to work together for the last few minutes. They chose to talk in the hallway with me right then.
4. Hear all voices involved.
This is the official beginning of the mediation process. It is important to lay ground rules before each student shares. The ground rules are:
- Each student gets to share without interruption.
- No name calling.
- Try to be clear and concise.
After each student shares, summarize their sharing. This is a great way to check if you heard them correctly and gives the other student(s) ability to hear it one more time. Once all stories are shared, remind students of the task/goal before moving to step 5.
Melissa and Mark shared why they did not like each other. They used to be a couple. Mark didn't have a problem with her but Melissa was hurt by things that occurred in their relationship. I thanked them for sharing and shared how they will be primarily helping each other learn like the activity today. However, soon they will have a project where their group who will have to create a brochure. They get to decide who will be responsible for different parts of the brochure. With these things in mind, we moved right into how we can achieve the goal while also dealing with their concerns/challenges.
5. Use the contract, management log and/or protocol to find a resolution.
The concerns/challenges are now turned into a guide to help find a resolution. Start with one concern/challenge and discuss use the contract, log or protocol to find a resolution. Write the resolution down and get a verbal agreement from all parties before moving to the next concern/challenge.
Melissa and Mark's team had not created a contract yet so we leaned on Kagan's Rally Coach protocol to work on resolutions. I started the resolution process with ideas that may work for Melissa's main concern of hurt feelings resurfacing. I asked Melissa if working with another person in the team for Rally Coach would be better for her. She said it would work. I asked her if she could think of anything else that would help her. She said him sitting in a seat across instead of next to her would help. I offered one more idea of temporarily seating in the back table area with another group member when her feelings are really high. She and Mark agreed to all of the resolutions and I wrote them down. They would be placed in the team binder for future reference.
Melissa and Mark's team had not created a contract yet so we leaned on Kagan's Rally Coach protocol to work on resolutions. I started the resolution process with ideas that may work for Melissa's main concern of hurt feelings resurfacing. I asked Melissa if working with another person in the team for Rally Coach would be better for her. She said it would work. I asked her if she could think of anything else that would help her. She said him sitting in a seat across instead of next to her would help. I offered one more idea of temporarily seating in the back table area with another group member when her feelings are really high. She and Mark agreed to all of the resolutions and I wrote them down. They would be placed in the team binder for future reference.
6. Exchange apologies and if necessary, create a path of restoration.
The process always ends with apologies need to be exchanged. Sometimes an apology is all a person needs. Other times the offense is big and people need the party to restore the working relationship. After apologies have been exchanged, check to see if certain actions need to occur. For example, the original offense may be a team member didn't hardly help with different aspects of a project as agreed upon. Team members may want the person to take on more parts going forward.
Mark and Melissa exchanged apologies. Since Melissa still had emotional challenges at times just by seeing Mark, she asked him to not talk to her if she asked him. They agreed she could just shake her head if she needed to not talk.
Mark and Melissa exchanged apologies. Since Melissa still had emotional challenges at times just by seeing Mark, she asked him to not talk to her if she asked him. They agreed she could just shake her head if she needed to not talk.
